I’m currently on a break from writing an essay entitled ‘Why do communism and fascism place so much more emphasis on the state than does modern liberalism?’ and listening to music like First Gymnopedie, and it strikes me as odd how normal 4am looks to me.
Instead of being dead on my feet and wishing I was in bed, I find that I’m more awake than ever. Perhaps I’m a night owl, perhaps I’ve actually successfully shifted my sleeping pattern to nocturnal, perhaps I’m just giving up on sleep; who knows until I’ve finished this essay.
But I am fully aware that being up at 4am isn’t healthy, and it certainly isn’t a healthy thing to be doing almost every night, whether it’s because of work or because I can’t put down that book. I’m ruining myself in order to fit everything in that I want to do, which just can’t be done.
This is where I realise how important my parents really are. I mean, they were the only people stopping this from becoming my reality five years ago. Thanks mum and dad, if you’re reading this. You saved me.
I’m visiting home in less than two weeks, which I’m really excited about. I love it here in Exeter but I can’t help but miss being curled up on the sofa with the parents watching a crime drama or an old episode of Grand Designs. I miss being able to walk to the local supermarket without feeling like I’ve punctured a lung or changed atmospheric pressures. I mean, Exeter is so hilly. I miss skipping into Starbucks and seeing the colleagues who fast became my friends.
I’m managing to go back at around my halfway mark; it will be a month and a half since I left, and a month and a half until Christmas. I’ll be able to see both sets of grandparents and maybe catch up with a couple of old friends while I’m back. I’m looking at you, Tea and Crumpets.
Until then, I’m going to be cracking down, getting this beast of an essay done and celebrating the first Flat Birthday next Friday.
I’ll be aiming to write another review in the next two weeks, and maybe a link to an article I’m writing for the student paper here, Exeposé.
Ciao for now,