I’ll be the first to admit that in the past I haven’t coped well under pressure. Becoming surly with others, retreating into myself or simply avoiding the problem are all approaches to stress that I have used, and continue to use.
As I think about it, in the stunning darkness of 2am, I’m learning to thrive under pressure.
One issue I’ve been having over the last month is that I’m trying to fit this new life into the constraints of my old one; I’ve been staying up late with my flatmates or studying and still try to get up at 7am. I’ve been having meals at erratic times, sometimes not at all, and still expect to be functioning at full capacity. I’ve been working on the mindset of still having an hour free before any lecture or seminar in which to do work, which I always used to have on the train to school.
There are so many things about this life that are fundamentally different to my old life at home, but that doesn’t have to mean that I fall apart. In fact, it should be the opening I need to fully come into my own, not that my parents didn’t do a wonderful job of raising me.
So I’m learning to embrace the stunning darkness of 2am, because it’s the time of day when I feel I have the freedom to type up sentimental blog posts, or write that missing paragraph for an essay. I don’t have any reason to be up at 7am tomorrow morning; on the contrary, my Wednesday is entirely free. I’ve scheduled this to appear at a more humane time, however. I don’t want it to become apparent to absolutely everyone how odd my sleeping patterns are.
Do you worry about things that are beyond your control, or try to conform to what you believe you should be doing? Drop a comment below.